The Husband Store Parable

Funny, but true 😉

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

“You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!”

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband…

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 1,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the “Husband Store.”

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex. 

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. 

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Quotes...

I love quotes...

"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."

-Abraham Lincoln; (1809-65) U.S. President

"Sad will be the day when the American people forget their traditions and their history, and no longer remember that the country they love, the institutions they cherish, and the freedom they hope to preserve, were born from the throes of armed resistance to tyranny, and nursed in the rugged arms of fearless men."

Roger Sherman; U.S. Senator (1721-1791)

"You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage-earner by pulling down the wage-payer. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves."

William J. H. Boetcker -1916

Our life on earth is just a dream.  Like shadows on a wave we float and disappear.  We measure our slothful steps against space and time.  We are and know it not, in the middle of eternity.

Heinrich Heine

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Samuel Clemens/Mark Twain

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens/Mark Twain

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Samuel Clemens/Mark Twain

The one thing you can say about capitalism, although it produces inequality, which it absolutley does, it also produces wealth! And all the other systems don't. They just produce inequality!

Jordan B. Peterson

War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength

Slogan in 1984

I will chew up your family tree and spit saw dust in your face.

Ted Nugent.

What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know, it's what we know for sure that just ain't so.

Mark Twian

We did indeed know much about your preparedness. We knew that probably every second home in your country contained firearms. We knew that your country actually had state championships for private citizens shooting military rifles. We were not fools to set foot in such quicksand.

General Yamamoto, Imperial Japanese Army 1945.

There once was a young lady from dallas who used dynamite as a phallus. They found her vagina in north carolina and her asshole in buckingham palace.

sic semper evello mortem tyrannis (“thus always I cause the death of tyrants”) - Marcus Brutus, when killing Gaius Iulius Ceasar.

A monopoly on government branches is a bad idea since there are fewer checks and balances of power. Moving the country slowly and with more agreement is better than quickly and negligently. ~anonymous~

Einigkeit macht stark: unity makes strength.

Napolean Bonaparte: Envy is a declaration of inferiority.  

The reason most people fail instead of succeed is they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment.

The only way to lead people is to show them a future: a leader is a dealer in hope.

"The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer.  There are many men who feel a kind of twisted pride in cynicism; there are many who confine themselves to criticism of the way others do what they themselves dare not even attempt.  There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds, or feigns to hold, an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty, whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement.  It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause.  Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."  - Theodore Roosevelt (Man in the Arena speech)

Those who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. - Issac Asimov

most men die at 27, we just burry them at 72. -Mark Twain

the assize of arms act 1181

THE ASSIZE OF ARMS (1181)

1. Whoever possesses one knight's fee shall have a shirt of mail, a helmet, a shield, and a lance; and every knight shall have as many shirts of mail, helmets, shields, and lances as he possesses knight's fees in demesne.^{[note 1]}
2. Moreover, every free layman who possesses chattels or rents to the value of 16m. shall have a shirt of mail, a helmet, a shield, and a lance; and every free layman possessing chattels or rents to the value of 10 marks shall have a hauberk, an iron cap, and a lance.^{[note 2]}
3. Item, all burgesses and the whole community of freemen shall have [each] a gambeson,^{[note 3]} an iron cap and a lance.
4. Besides, each of them shall swear to have these arms before the feast of St. Hilary, to be faithful to the lord king Henry — namely, the son of the Empress Matilda — and to bear these arms in his service according to his command and in fealty to the lord king and his kingdom. And henceforth no one having these arms shall sell them or pledge them or lend them or alienate them in any other way; nor shall a lord in any way alienate them from his men, either through forfeiture or through gift or a pledge or in any other way.
5. If anyone having these arms die, his arms shall remain to his heir. If, however, the heir is not of age to use arms in time of need, that person who has wardship over him shall also have custody of the arms and shall find a man who can use the arms in the service of the lord king until the heir is of age to bear arms, and then he shall have them.
6. Any burgess who has more arms than he ought to have by this assize shall sell them or give them away, or in some way alienate them to such a man as will keep them for the service of the lord king of England. And none of them shall keep more arms than he ought to have by this assize.
7. Item, no Jew shall keep in his possession a shirt of mail or a hauberk, but he shall sell it or give it away or alienate it in some other way so that it shall remain in the king's service.
8. Item, no one shall carry arms out of England except by the command of the lord king: no one is to sell arms to another to carry out of England; nor shall a merchant or any other man carry them out of England.
9. Item, the justices shall have [a report] sworn by lawful knights, or by other free and lawful men of the hundreds and neighborhoods and boroughs — as many as they see fit to employ — as to what persons possess chattels to the amount that they should have a shirt of mail, a helmet, a lance, and a shield according to what has been provided; so that they shall separately name for those [justices] all men of their hundreds and neighborhoods and boroughs who are worth 16m. in either chattels or rents and likewise, those who are worth 10 marks. And then the justices shall have written down [the names of] all those jurors and other men, [recording] how much in chattels or rents they [each] have and what arms, according to the value of the chattels or rents, they should [each] have. Then, in their presence and a common assembly of those men, they shall have read this assize regarding the possession of arms, and they shall have that men swear to have arms according to the value of the aforesaid chattels or rents and to keep them for the service of the lord king according to this aforesaid assize, under the command of and in fealty to the lord king Henry and his kingdom. If, moreover, it should happen that any one of them, who ought to have these arms, is not in the county during the period when the justices are in that county, the justices shall set a time for him [to appear] before them in another county. And if he does not come to them in any county through which they are to go, and is not in that land [at all], they shall set him time at Westminster toward the octave of St. Michael; so that, as he loves his life and all that he has, he shall be there forswearing his oath. And they shall command him, before the aforesaid feast of St. Hilary, to have arms according to the obligation resting on him.
10. Item, the justices shall have proclamation made in the counties through which they are to go that, concerning those who do not have such arms as have been specified above, the lord king will take vengeance, not merely on their lands or chattels, but their limbs.
11. Item, no one who does not possess 16 marks [as specified above] or 10 marks in chattels is to swear concerning free and lawful men.
12. Item, the justices shall command through all the counties that no one, as he loves his life and all that he has, shall buy or sell any ship to be taken away from England, and that no one shall carry any timber or cause it to be carried out of England. And the lord king commands that no one shall be received for the oath concerning arms unless he is a freeman.

the universe is a doughnut

I read a theory that the shape of our universe is a doughnut. So the longer and deeper you peer into the deepest reaches of the universe, because space-time is curved, you're just looking at your own butt. I love the old saying "the longer you stare into the abyss, the more the abyss stares back". However, with this new theory, I believe the saying should be: the more you stare into the abyss, the more you're just looking at your own ass... and sometimes it farts.

A little philosophy for the physicist and fart jokes

The root of it all

I finally figured out where my love of sex dolls comes from: I was maybe 7 years old. We were traveling to Louisiana and flew into New Orleans international airport. In the airport there was a Mardi Gras store and in the window were a trio of plush dolls, maybe 24 to 30 inches tall. All of them were women dressed in Victorian style clothes, but very risque. Low cut corsets, stockings showing with the front of the dress pulled up (can-can style), massive cleavage, etc. Just sexy as hell. Even now, I am getting a boner thinking about it.

I've been in love with those types of dolls ever since. Of course, I've matured and prefer full size sex dolls, that I can dress up.  So, my plan is to buy or reverse engineer Velour Vixens and start making dolls. I know I can streamline his process and make more dolls. Maybe not as perfectly "custom" as his, but at least get something faster and better out the door, than Teddy Babes.

Post

This is a post. A post about a post. A post that isn't the most. Or a ghost without a host who hangs around a post sans his toast. It's just a post about a post that isn't the most.

My crazy mother

This is the email my dad sent me about mom... she needs to be put away.

"On Thursday around 7PM, she was going to fix dinner for Mason and there was a loaf of bread jamming the freezer door.  She began slamming it and throwing food items around the kitchen,  I asked if I could help and she continued screaming and said that she hoped she broke the freezer beyond repair. She then started in on me for not buying her a freezer.  As i bent over to fix the shelf, she grabbed the lid of the coffee maker out of the top of the dishwasher and threw it at me.  She reached in the dishwasher and I thought she was going to start throwing more stuff, so I ran over and grabbed her by the back of her neck, which I should not have done, and she started slapping at me and said if I touched her again she'd call the police.  Mason was in the bedroom and heard the entire episode.  She told me that she was going to stab me in my sleep.  She has slept upstairs since Friday and is not talking to me.  This is not the first time she has gone off the rails, as you know.  I don't know how to deal with her.  She said she was going to leave and to live with her mother, which is fine with me.  As you are aware, she has had bouts of depression and screaming fits for over 25 years.  I'm sure part of her problem is all of the drugs she is taking.

Love

Dad"